When we originally decided to drive to
we knew we would need two days. The “halfway” point was chosen: Baltimore . D swears it is 10 hours from Knoxville, Tennessee Dallas to . I believe it will be 12 based on the maps I look at. Knoxville
at 10 am after having our first – and thankfully – only fight. Something about who was at fault for leaving the pillow behind. We arrive in Dallas at 2 am. This didn’t help: Knoxville
This wasn’t your garden variety construction slow down. This was a dead-stop-put-the-car-in-park-get-out-and-commiserate-with-the trucker-behind-you event. Even taking this into account, something went horribly awry in our calculations. I was not happy to be in the car so long and around
(8 hours down) I started having a hard time being still in my seat, a fact not lost on my traveling companion. To entertain myself, I started noting some of the best one-liners from our conversations in the car: Memphis
· I really hate when I get lip boogers.
· I hope a bird doesn’t fly over and crap through the sunroof.
· You can’t see for shit.
· That made me dizzy.
· Oops, my pants almost fell off.
· I have to cross my legs when I cough so I don’t piss myself.
· I found the ladybug!
· She sounds like that Sarah Bareass chick.
D started scrutinizing my fluid intake, or I should say my lack of fluid intake, before we were out of
. Final tally? D = 102 oz, Me = 16 oz. Shorter drive today – under 8 hours in theory – so I can probably make it on about 6 ozs. It should be noted we only counted what was consumed IN the car…we didn’t include our two meal stops. Texas
What I read
on the plane in the car: What On Earth Have I Done? By Robert Fulghum