Day 1: Dallas to Knoxville

When we originally decided to drive to Baltimore we knew we would need two days.  The “halfway” point was chosen:  Knoxville, Tennessee.  D swears it is 10 hours from Dallas to Knoxville.  I believe it will be 12 based on the maps I look at.

We leave Dallas at 10 am after having our first – and thankfully – only fight.  Something about who was at fault for leaving the pillow behind.  We arrive in Knoxville at 2 am.  This didn’t help:

This wasn’t your garden variety construction slow down.  This was a dead-stop-put-the-car-in-park-get-out-and-commiserate-with-the trucker-behind-you event.  Even taking this into account, something went horribly awry in our calculations.  I was not happy to be in the car so long and around Memphis (8 hours down) I started having a hard time being still in my seat, a fact not lost on my traveling companion.  To entertain myself, I started noting some of the best one-liners from our conversations in the car:

·       I really hate when I get lip boogers.

·       I hope a bird doesn’t fly over and crap through the sunroof.

·       You can’t see for shit.

·       That made me dizzy.

·       Oops, my pants almost fell off.

·       I have to cross my legs when I cough so I don’t piss myself.

·       I found the ladybug!

·       She sounds like that Sarah Bareass chick.

D started scrutinizing my fluid intake, or I should say my lack of fluid intake, before we were out of Texas.  Final tally?  D = 102 oz, Me = 16 oz.  Shorter drive today – under 8 hours in theory – so I can probably make it on about 6 ozs.  It should be noted we only counted what was consumed IN the car…we didn’t include our two meal stops.

What I read on the plane in the car:  What On Earth Have I Done? By Robert Fulghum