Skyline Trapeze: Addison, TX

Marci asked me how I even knew this place existed and the answer was that, truthfully, I don't remember.  But it does exist and I found it somehow so I started trying to talk my colleagues into joining me.  When you say, "Would you be interested in paying $50 to jump off a platform while holding a trapeze bar?" some of them will think you are crazy. 

At the home office of my company near Dallas, Texas, there are 6 of us in a group that work on a product together:  Me, Kawiana, Marci, Marie, Linda and Tim.  Marie was an instant "absolutely not", Tim, Linda and Marci were all on the fence but Marci seemed more likely to respond to a little arm twisting.  Kawiana was the only one that was all in from the start.  She was also the one that ultimately got Marci on board after she went by the place and took a video.

I called Skyline Trapeze quite a while back to get some information on how they do things.  He assured me that first-timers are safety harnessed at all times, even when climbing the ladder.  He also mentioned that roughly half of the people that come think they aren't scared of heights only to find out that they are when they reach the top of the platform.

Here is the best picture of the "rig" I could take in the fading light.  The platform we will leap from is on the far left in the picture and there is someone standing on it.  It is a little hard to see the net in this shot but it is below that tree line.

 

At some point it becomes pretty clear that it will be just me, Kawiana and Marci so Kawiana (the only one of the 3 of us that works at the home office) asks if she can extend the invitation around.  I have something of a reputation of being a "fun sucker" at the office (once in a group I said I knew they thought this and a girl replied, "only one person calls you that out loud").  I am trying really hard to resolve that and to generally take myself less seriously so I tell Kawiana yes.  The more people there to witness what could be a very embarrassing moment for me, the better.

 

L-R:  Kawiana, Marci, Katie (who I know), Kelli (who I don't), me.

This picture is out of order, it was taken after we were done.  But it is important for you to see this now before I go too much further.  Marci doesn't look it in this photo but she is the same height as me (5'10") or maybe slightly taller.  But she easily weighs 50 lbs less than me.  The other girls are all quite a bit short and much lighter.

 

As are the employees.  The girl who is going to be responsible for keeping me from falling off the platform while reaching for the bar probably weighs about half as much as I do and is maybe 5' 5".  And I am not exaggerating.  I am sure they all took one look at me and wondered why no one told them it was Amazon night.  There are 3 employees:  one for the platform, and two on the ground.  One of these will manage your safety lines.  After seeing how the safety lines work, I am vaguely concerned that the person holding that line when I let go will be yanked off of the ground to the top of the pulley system before they know what happened.

 

The girl that will do most of the safety line management greets us and starts to give instructions.  We are so distracted by the "regulars" who have joined our class due to rain earlier in the week that she has to turn us around with our backs to the rig to get us to pay attention.  This is of course AFTER we have signed a waiver holding them harmless in the event of an injury or death.  At least that's what I assume it said because I just initialed it and signed.  I didn't want to freak myself out. 

 

We are put into our safety belts and shown how things will be done once we get to the platform.  But I can't think of anything else but:

 

Does this safety belt make me look fat?

 

That belt is on so tight I am pretty sure I will have bruises on my ribs the next day.  Every ounce of fat in my midsection is being unmercifully squeezed up or down or anywhere it can find a place to be.  The belt has D-rings on it that will be attached to the ladder and to the harness system once we are on the platform.   The safety girl shows us that we will hold on to a rope with our left hand and lean out to grab the bar with our right.  While you are leaning out (over the net far below), the girl on the platform has hold of you via your belt from behind.  But she is simply holding you by putting her hand through the belt and leaning back against your weight.  Again, in my case, probably double her own personal weight.  So you reach out with your right hand and grab the bar (which is wrapped in tape).  When she tells you to and not before (so she is ready to hold your weight because you are still leaning out) you reach with your left and get the bar.  She will say "ready" (bend your knees) and then "hup" or "hut" or something like that (jump off the platform).  They don't use "go" because it sounds too much like "no". 

 

I had agreed before that I would go first since I was the one who suggested this whole outing.  You climb up a ladder that you are sure is either going to collapse or fall back to get to the platform.  The ladder is a basic Home Depot construction ladder and there is a line going up next to it that you are attached to.  Marci is not fond of the ladder and points out that the line you are attached to isn't going to do anything if you fall.  She's right, it wouldn't stop you from falling but I think it is meant to stop you from falling back.  If you fall it would probably keep you upright so you have a chance to grab back on to the ladder or to the line or to break out all of your teeth as you hit every rung on the way down.

 

Here I go:

 

It is weird to watch this now.  I do not remember that guy (a regular named Andrew) even standing on the platform with me.  I am trying to not freak out and to listen to what the girl behind me is saying.  The guy on the ground who is giving me instructions wants me to lift my legs up and put them over the bar so I can hang upside down with no hands.  I could barely hear him and he kept talking to me on the forward swing (it seemed at the time) making it even harder. 

 

Truthfully, I didn't believe there was any way I was going to be able to pull my legs up.  Back on the ground, Andrew says that if I will listen to them and do it exactly when they say, I will be "weightless" at that time.  Somehow this seems unlikely.  I have a size 12 foot.  I am pretty sure my feet weigh more than some of these people and I definitely didn't ever feel weightless.  The next time I go up the girl is working the safety harness and she says to pull my legs up and my brain just flat out says NO.  I can't even begin to do it.  So for my third time she wants me to try something else, a backflip on the dismount.  Let me just say that letting go is one of the hardest parts.  Of course that is after being cinched down like a sausage in the belt, climbing the ladder of death and jumping off of a platform.  When they say "hup" to dismount, every part of my brain is saying DO NOT LET GO!

 

So on my third time I don't make the backflip and I am pretty sure my fourth time will be the last chance.  Before we get to that, let's see what it is supposed to look like because there was one person in the group who managed to do both the knee hang and the backflip on the same turn.

 

Kawiana...the Rock Star.

 

Kelli also managed to do the knee hang on her last try and Katie tried a couple of times which is more than I can say.  I did try the backflip again and this moment will forevermore be known as my Flip Failure.  Thank goodness no one was filming.

 

In Kawiana's video the instructor is telling her to "kick forward, kick backward, kick forward" and then you "hup"...let go.  The momentum of that last kick forward should take you into the back flip if you simply tuck and let it.  So, I kick as instructed and when I let go, I am very aware that I am not flipping at all but going head down toward the net in some sort of horrible swan dive, if swans were as graceful as grizzly bears.  I land on the net ON MY NECK.  At that point I finish the flip and end up on my stomach.  I am glad at this point that I played a lot of sports when I was younger so I know how to block out the crowd noise because I am sure that everyone is dying of laughter at this point.  Later, Marci said, "I wasn't laughing.  I was thinking, Flip Noelle FLIP!"  I told her I understood because I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING.

 

Everyone asks if I am okay but it didn't hurt my neck at all.  It twinged my back a little but mainly I am just embarrassed.  And tired.  The tape on the bar is very hard on your hands.  At the restaurant after I put my hand around my tea glass and it was so wonderful I had to put both hands on and tell Marci of my discovery  which she promptly copied.  After my sad flip attempt I knew I wouldn't go back up and they were trying to wind us down so the regulars could do a couple of rounds of catches.  I asked to have my safety belt removed and it felt so good that the only thing I ever remember feeling as good was having my water break while in labor.

 

Here is a note about the "regulars".  There are 4 of them, 3 girls and Andrew.  Some of them have progressed to the point where they are not required to wear a harness going up the ladder or while working on the trapeze.  Some of them are doing flips or straddle swings or splits while swinging and they swing high.  One two-hour session is $50 and Andrew tells us he has been coming twice a week for 3 months (and he still must wear the harness).  He said, "Its an expensive hobby".  Um, yeah. 

 

I am glad I did this but I probably won't feel compelled to do it again.  I can't tell you if I was sore or not because the day before this, Kawiana invited me to her gym to a tabata class and I was already sore in every part of my body from that.  Marci did text me today and say she is sore though so it could be a little of both for me.  In fact, by Friday when I flew home I was concerned about getting up from my seat after sitting on the plane without moving for 2 hours.  I was walking up the jet bridge thinking - ouch, ouch, ouch.

 

I took away two lessons from this experience.  One is that you shouldn't do tabata unless you are used to it the day before you decide to go swing from a trapeze for the first time.  The second is that I can do anything if I can only convince my mind it is possible.  I am sure I could have pulled my legs up had I only tried.  I might not have been able to hook them but now I will never know.  Now, if you will excuse me I have to go to WalMart to buy all of the Aspercreme they have in stock and then look up the information for the indoor skydiving facility near our office for my January trip. 

 

Update:  The owner of Skyline Trapeze came across this post and emailed me some questions about what I wrote here.  I will respond to him right after this but there is something I should have said in the beginning:  I personally never felt unsafe at any time.  Yes, the ladder was a little scary but after the first time and seeing how it was attached, I was fine.  And the staff conducted themselves professionally at all times and never made me feel like they had an issue with my size, those issues are all mine.  When I was up on the platform with the tiny girl, she conducted herself with total confidence so that is what I had - confidence.  None of them were rude or catty or did anything to make me feel self-conscience about my size.  At one point one of the "regulars" rolled her eyes at one of the people in my party (who didn't know and I won't be telling her) but that isn't the staffs fault and shame on her.  She is comparing herself to what was a first time for all of us.  Maybe she has forgotten her first time.  Or maybe she's just an asshole.

 















Spring for Art and Musical Masterpieces: Covington, LA

After touring the museum in Abita Springs, we had about an hour to kill before presenting ourselves at the Mahalia Jackson Theater for the Performing Arts in New Orleans for Million Dollar Quartet.  We end up going to nearby Covington and browsing a couple of shops.  While there I grab a flyer for Spring for Art, a street festival happening later that night in downtown Covington.  I am not sure why I picked it up as Dawn and I have plans to go to the French Quarter later to hopefully do a ghost or cemetery tour.

This is Dawn's first Broadway play.  I have seen the show before but was looking forward to seeing it again, this time with Dawn.  Since she hasn't done this before, I am a little concerned that she won't enjoy it as much as I do.

Before the play.  Will those smiles be intact later?

The theater is in Jackson Square which is a very nice park and a great place to be before the show on a beautiful day.

We have really good seats, close to the stage and the only thing I can say I didn't like this time around was the bathrooms.  This theater has a terrible shortage of women's room stalls.  There were only 4 stalls in the one we found and probably 30 women in line.

Fortunately, Dawn enjoyed the play.  We both came out with smiles on our faces and even the unpleasant call from a family member couldn't put a damper on our afternoon.  Back at the hotel, we thought we would ride the trolley, which picks up right outside of our hotel, over to the French Quarter.  As we are waiting on the valet (our hotel had no self-parking option) the trolley comes and it is packed tight.  The next one that comes is the same way.  Neither of us are looking forward to cramming ourselves on one of those trolleys.  

I also want to say right now, before I write any other words or posts about New Orleans that I have never liked New Orleans.  One of the problems I have is the one that happens while we stand with the valet.  He asks when we will be returning and he tells us he wouldn't advise us coming back after dark.  Any city where I can't be out and about without being repeatedly told (which we were) I should be concerned about my personal safety isn't somewhere I want to be.

Up in the room, we try to decide what to do.  Clearing some stuff from by bag, I mention the art festival that I picked up the brochure for and we quickly head back to the valet stand.  The drive out to Covington takes us across the world's longest bridge for the second time today.  I really wanted to get there in time for an event listed in the brochure as Musical Masterpieces sponsored by Corks n' Canvas.  

Dawn isn't excited about making a painting, even if it is free.  I am trying to convince her to try it and not to worry so much about how it will come out.  I have done an event at a store in Montgomery, AL before and I  know they walk you through the whole process.

In the end, I convinced her.  Dawn is a happy, easy-going person so it wasn't all that hard.

This is a little different than what I have done before.  This time, there are about a dozen easels set up in a circle, all with a canvas and a table with brushes, water and paint.  We are the first two people to commit and we started late while they tried to round up enough people to start.  The idea for this event is that you stand in front of a canvas, a song plays and when it is over, you rotate one canvas to the right.  Because Dawn is to my left, she will always inherit what I worked on last.

Everyone started with a canvas with the same pre-drawn symbol.  The instructions for the first song are to start painting the background.  Any color you want from your palette.

When the song was over, this is how I left things for Dawn.  A crowd is starting to form around us and a news crew is shooting footage.

This is what I inherit when we rotate.  We keep painting the outside and then work next on the inside.  The instructor gives information on how to do borders and we continue to work a little, rotate, work a little and rotate.  The plan is that you get to keep the one you end up at.  I think we rotated between 6-8 times.

This is what I ended up with.  I added the white and after this photo, covered the little squiggles in the corners with a solid black arch.  For a painting that was worked on by half a dozen random people, it wasn't too bad.  She gave us 3 songs on the last rotate to work on finishing or changing the one we have.

This is how the one I started ended up looking.

We had fun doing this (especially for a free event) and they didn't have any trouble filling all of the spots really quickly for round two.  Dawn and I took our paintings to the car and then came back for a really good dinner on the patio of a local restaurant and about an hour left to browse the galleries and shops.  I was very happy we ended up here instead of crammed in trolley.

And, because I had fun with this and now knew that Corks n' Canvas had local shops, I went with 3 of my customers to a shop in Metarie on Thursday to paint again.  Thursday is our only night to be "on your own" and I had seen enough of Bourbon Street by then and was happy to talk these ladies into joining me for something away from the Quarter.  The painting listed was "Funky Chandelier".

Our host was Noemi and she was bubbly and adorable.  There were supposed to be 2 others in the class but they never showed so our little group of 4 were it.  Noemi did a good job of breaking down the drawing which is the part I have the hardest time with.

This time, we start with a blank canvas and paint it solid black to start.

We start drawing using chalk - something I will do again in the future it was such a great idea.  She had us draw the middle oval and then she had us draw small hash marks using instructions like, "go down two finger widths and make a mark".  Once we had all of the marks, we simply connected the dots.

Next we painted over the chalk with white.

Added details.

Added color (of our choosing).  This is my complete painting.

Linda's finished painting.

Sheila's painting

Lori's painting

Just like the time I did this in Alabama, I find it interesting how very different the paintings look even though we were given the same instruction.  I had fun doing the chandelier but may eventually reuse that canvas for something else.  I will keep the Fleur de Lis because it was the one Dawn and I did together.

We don't have anything like Corks n' Canvas where I live in Western Montana so I will have to do this again when I go to bigger cities.  A colleague of mine in Dallas mentioned the day we went to Metarie that she might be interested so when I go to the office in June, I may be adding to my collection.

Jersey Boys & Drag Queens: Pittsburg, PA

First let me say I can never remember if it is Pittsburgh or Pittsburg.  Let me also say, I don't really care and this is not one of my favorite destinations.

When I arrived in Pittisburg(h) back in early September, it became my second time in the city.  The first time was during my "don't leave the hotel after dark" days so in some ways, this is my first time all over again.

Because I try to be cost conscious with my company's money, I end up getting a hotel in Green Tree, just outside of the city.  Mapquest says the hotel is 3 miles from by customer's location.  The first morning I give myself 45 minutes knowing in a good size city like this one, it might take more time to get there, especially when you drive downtown.  I was 30 minutes late.  That's right...one hour and fifteen minutes to go 3 miles.  It wasn't a fluke either, that was the case all three days.

Fortunately my customer was understanding and it was good information to know since I bought tickets before I left Texas to see Jersey Boys the first night, also downtown.

But of course in the evening, it doesn't take nearly that long so I am VERY early and I prefer it that way.  As fortune would have it, there is an outdoor jazz concert going on right across from the theater.  I stand around listening and chatting with a very nice man named Dennis who happened by on his way home.  He told me a lot about what he thinks are interesting things to do in the city (none of which were things I ultimately did) and how the city has really undergone a great deal of revitalization since my last visit around 7 years ago.

I feel vaguely guilty about seeing Jersey Boys without David.  This is one we both talked about wanting to see.  When I saw that it was going to be in Pittsburg(h) while I was there, I checked to see if it would be in Dallas in 2013 but it isn't on the list.  It will be in Houston in March but now that I know I won't be living in Texas by March of next year, I am glad he was okay with me going on without him. 

As you can see from the image, I have a really good seat.  The only needing one seat thing works in my favor again.  Also in my favor is the woman to my left, Connie.  Connie and I enjoy talking before the show even though she is here with her husband.  Connie's husband didn't really want to come.  He isn't a jerk about it like some might be, he gives off more of a "I will probably sleep through this anyway" kind of vibe.  She lives a little far from the city so she rarely gets to do things like this and she is really excited.  Contagious excited.

The play is fantastic.  I really enjoy it but maybe not as much as Connie who grabs my arm as soon as the lights come on for intermission.  She is bouncing up and down, shaking me and squealing a little.  I think Jersey Boys is very similar to Million Dollar Quartet - the first one David and I saw together - and I would be surprised if I found out the same person(s) didn't write both.

On my second night I have plans to return downtown to another play, this time it is Dixie's Tupperware Party.  This is listed as an "interactive" play and from my experience with Bingo in Kansas City I know that means the cast will be interacting with some of the audience.  There is something I didn't realize about Dixie though.

Dixie is a man.

I think I might be the only one who didn't know this in advance and apparently Dixie isn't the only one of his/her kind.  I found some others also selling Tupperware in drag when I looked up Dixie Longate on the internet.  In fact, the top selling salesperson for several years in a row is a man who sells dressed in drag and Dixie has been quite successful in her own right.

This is a one-woman show and also a real Tupperware party.  We are given catalogs and order forms.  Dixie goes through the full sales pitch while talking about how she broke into Tupperware (at the suggestion of her parole officer).  There is, in my opinion, a motivational message here wrapped around her gushing about Brownie Wise who was a vice president of Tupperware in the 1950's (when women definitely weren't VPs at major corporations). 

Dixie's humor isn't for everyone though she is never directly inappropriate there is plenty of innuendo for those with a mind bent in that direction.  My family says I have no sense of humor and I definitely found her funny.  And she definitely interacted.  Four people (including the man and woman in the picture above) were seated on the stage and she spoke to them several times and had them do a relay race towards the end of the play.  She also gave out 3 door prizes which required the "winner" to come onstage.  This showcased Dixie's ability to continue to be funny, even when ad-libbing which she did again during a Q & A session.  And none of us there will ever forget Dirk, a man in the front row center that she picked on a lot and who was invited onstage to demonstrate how to use the can opener, something he had some difficulty doing.

This is a traveling show and if you get a chance to see it, go for it.  It was a fun show and a lot of laughs.  And girls, be sure to take your husband or significant other - especially if his name is Dirk.

My last night in town I am scheduled to go to an author's lecture at a community center.  Driving through and beyond downtown I find myself in a pretty rough neighborhood.  Normally I don't get nervous when I am out and about in a strange town but on this day I find myself feeling a little uneasy about my surroundings.  There are a lot of people milling around on the streets and there are a LOT of abandoned or apparently abandoned buildings.  Definitely some Criminal Minds opportunites here.  As I pull up to a red light, I look to my right and there is a church on the corner.  In the grass a sign:  Stop Shooting, We Love You.

There is no photo for two reasons.  First, the light changed and second, I was a little freaked out.  As I drive up to the community center I find there is no on-site parking.  I will be forced to park on the street and walk back to my white mini-van with New York license plates after dark.  After circling the block a couple of times and finding nothing even remotely close I decide I can't do it.  My mother's voice won't be quiet in my head.  David would freak out if he knew I was even remotely thinking about getting out of my car here. 

So, I drive back through downtown to return to my hotel for the night, disappointed.  Until...

That's right!  Jersey Boys...round 2!

My route to the hotel takes me past the theatre and now familiar parking garage I used for both plays.  I pull in on a whim, walk to the box office, ask what the best single seat they have is and get 6th row center 30 minutes before curtain.  Sold! 

So for the second time in two days, I sit through Jersey Boys.  I have to say, it was just as good the second time.  I only wish Connie could have been there with me.







Late Night Catechism: Chicago, IL

Late Night Catechism is a one-woman play that has been running in Chicago quite a long time.  I planned to attend this before I left Dallas and it ironically fit right in with the religious experiences of the week.

The play is at the Royal George Theatre in downtown Chicago.  Even though I am from a big city I don't actually LIVE in that big city so parking and the traffic of really large cities is sometimes hard for me to deal with.  I left Hammond 3 hours before the play to leave plenty of time to eat and park and I still ended up feeling rushed.

I drive around the block 3 times trying to figure out where to park and get so frustrated I finally just park about 4 blocks away in a public parking lot.  I didn't really want to do that since I will be walking back around 10 pm.  Alone.

When I finally arrive, I am sweating and later than I like to be.  I am the first person there.

 

This gives me a chance to get a good look at the "set" which is a replica Catholic School classroom.  That is if Catholic School classrooms include a bar.

 

I also make sure I understand the rules.  I assume now that #10 meant they take tips but I didn't tip when the play was over.

 

While I am roaming around, a couple in their 60's come in and take their seats.  I will be seated next to the husband which at this moment seems silly as we are the only people here.  The seats are basic chairs, not theatre seats.  I sit down a seat away and explain I will stay there as long as possible so we aren't crowding each other until we have to.  They tell me that they were told it will be a small group and they will likely ask us to spread out anyway. 

 

It looks like this room will hold around 100 people (though I didn't count the seats) and it is set up in an L shape.  Finally, 8 more people arrive and we learn that we are it...all 11 of us.  The three of us on the short part of the L move toward the middle and have seats between us.

 

The view from my seat.

 

I assume that the reduced number of people will greatly increase the possibility of interaction between each of us and the "nun".  The idea of the play is that we are here for instruction and the nun has been made to come because the priest was unavailable and she isn't happy about this.

 

Sister comes in and starts her monologue.  I can't remember what she talked about.  I remember that she dropped her chalk and stood there waiting until one of the women on the other side got up and picked it up.  Then she got one of the men on the other side up to explain "Easter Duty".  Even though he claimed to be Catholic, she had to lead him through it.  Once done, he wins a prize that is a credit card shaped rosary.

 

I had no idea what Easter Duty was and didn't know the answer to what Immaculate Conception was, though I thought I did (has to do with MARY being an Immaculate Conception - not Jesus) so I was glad I wasn't called on and I certainly wasn't going to raise my hand unless I was sure.

 

We spend a lot of time talking about a list of 5 saints and whether they we think they should remain saints.  While talking about Saint Veronica (who ate cat vomit and lots of other disgusting things) she asks if anyone knows what Stigmata is.  I DO I DO I DO!!  I raise my hand and try not to bounce in my seat.

 

She makes me stand and say my name - which she likes because Noelle is "such a great Christmas name!"  Then she asks me to explain stigmata.  "It is where you suffer the wounds of Christ," I say.  Where? she wants to know.  "The wrists, the back, the feet, the head, the ribs," I answer with confidence.  She is impressed.  No one remembers the back! 

 

I am about to say, "Well, I have seen that movie a bunch of times."  Looking back, I think it is better that I didn't disclose that's how I knew the answer.  The movie I am talking about is Stigmata from 1999 starring Patricia Arquette and Gabriel Byrne.  Patricia's character Frankie is a self-proclaimed atheist who suffers stigmata and Gabriel's character is Father Kiernan, a priest sent from Rome to investigate/discredit.  I don't think Sister would have been impressed that this is why I know what stigmata is.

 

There is a short Q&A section, I assume to show off the actresses' ability to ad-lib but there are few questions with a group of 11.  I did ask if she believed that people really can and have suffered stigmata and she answers yes but keeps it pretty short.

 

All-in-all, I didn't think this play was funny.  It is supposed to be hilarious according to the reviews and to some of the comments on You Tube, where you can check out some videos (though photography is prohibited).  I smiled a couple of times but never really laughed.

 

Maybe I was too young (I am probably 20 years younger than the other people here and some of them laughed a lot).  Maybe you have to be Catholic.  I really don't know but I know I just didn't like this play.

 

The best thing that came out of this was my prize for knowing the answer to the stigmata question:

 

This might come in handy on the dark, lonely walk back to the deserted parking garage.



 

 

Corks & Canvas: Montgomery, AL

Because Alexander City was pretty small, my initial search for things to do expanded as far as Birmingham and Montgomery, both almost an hour away.  I stumble upon the website for Corks & Canvas in Montgomery and decide to check it out.

I make a reservation for the last night I am in the area, Thursday.  This is simpler for me since I don't have to be anywhere other than the airport in the morning.  The class isn't until 7 so I have plenty of time to get there after finishing class with my customer.

Which is helpful since the GPS decides to send me down this road after leaving my customer's office later than I intended.

 

My plan is to grab fast food on the way but after my detour I am afraid I will be late.  It starts to rain about halfway there which also doesn't help.  I arrive with only about 5 minutes to spare.  Fortunately there is a place next door where I can get a water and a cold pasta salad that they will let me eat during class.

 

I was familiar with the idea of Corks & Canvas because we have similar places here in the Dallas area.  Basically, you have an instructor in the front who walks you step-by-step through a painting.  Everyone here will paint the same painting.  Of course they don't look identical as each person will mix their paint a little different and apply the technique of that step differently.  And of course there is the issue of natural talent.

 

This class consists of about 10 women (no men) and as usual, I am the only one here alone.

 

I chose a seat on the back row between two mother-daughter groups.  I won't be needing that wine glass.  I assumed the corks part meant wine but I also assumed they provided.  It is actually BYOB.  The woman to my left offers me some of hers but I don't like wine anyway and have to drive back to Alex City all alone and in the dark and there may be dirt roads involved.

 

This our instructor Devon starting step 1.  The painting she is teaching is hanging on the red wall though it doesn't look like the image on the website (I think it was called Summer Poppies).  She addresses this and that we will try for a more abstract look like the image on the web.  She encourages people to relax.

 

After step 1.

 

After step 2.

 

A few steps later, some of the ladies are starting to stress.  They stress over the color (it doesn't look like Devon's), they stress over the next step.  She continues to encourage people to just let it happen and not worry so much.  In this step we are supposed to let the green drip down.  How much dripping, how many drips?

 

After the dripping we flip it over.  The drips will become the stems of our flowers.

 

Adding my flowers.  I am taking Devon's advice and not worrying too much.  I have a tendency to be a perfectionist at times but I try really hard to let that go here and just enjoy the process.  Devon walking behind me and complimenting my piece helps.  She says things to me that she doesn't say to the others so it is easier to believe her.

 

The finished piece.  Not museum quality but all-in-all, I liked the outcome. 

My stress level is zero.

 

I would do this again if I liked the example painting and the more abstract, the better.  It is still raining when I leave and I am starving.  I didn't each much of the pasta, just enough to not be hungry, so I drive through McDonald's across the street before beginning the hour drive to the hotel.

 

There are only 4 cars in the drive-thru but I am there a LONG time.  I am not exaggerating...I listened to Hotel California by the Eagles and American Pie by Don McLean without ever moving at all.  I would have gotten out of line but I already placed my order.  Finally I get my fish sandwich which is different here than at McDonald's back home because:

 

Truthfully, I am too tired and too hungry to care and assume the answer is one I wouldn't be happier knowing.

 

I do manage to drive back without repeating the dirt road which is good because it is really dark out here on these remote 2-lane highways.  At one point, I see a deer on the side of the road but luckily she runs back into the woods.  Later, I see a bunny hopping away from the road.  I am a little wary now that an animal is going to surprise me and I slow down.  No need to hurry, there is no one behind me. 

 

Until there is.  I speed up a little when someone gets behind me and refuses to pass.  And that's when it happens.  A possum in the road.  I try to miss him (can't cross the line, a car is coming) but I feel him hit the underside of the car.  I am so upset and drive so slow the car behind me finally goes around.  I am glad they do too because later there is another deer.  

 

Sadly, now my painting is tainted.  It is no longer "the poppies I painted in Montgomery".  It is now known as the: "the day I killed the possum driving back from Montgomery painting". 

 

My stress level when I reach the hotel?  Off the charts.



Triple D and BINGO, the Musical: Kansas City

Having not learned my lesson in Omaha at Big Mama's, I seek out two more Diners, Drive-ins & Dives restaurants, this time in Kansas City.  First up is Grinders which is next to Grinders West.  If you are wondering why they aren't one restaurant, they are not attached.  There is a tattoo parlor separating them.  Looking at the employees here, I think they might work at all three. 

Lest you think I am against tattoos, I am not, I have two myself.

Any place that offers things like Funky Dough and Big Ass Shrooms has potential.

I did have some trouble finding this place due to my continuing problems with the GPS.  It took me to another location that wasn't anywhere close to correct.  Once here, I like the interior of the restaurant and the "sit anywhere you want" attitude but it is too warm and too loud in here for me.

When I ordered two slices of their specialty pizzas, the waitress gave me a funny look.  Now I know why, those are big pieces.  I had the Goldberg (on the left) and the Fun Gi.  I don't really care for the Goldberg, even though it has salmon on it.  The Fun Gi, which is a variety of mushrooms, was better.

 

The verdict:  It was okay.  I might give it a second chance before making a final judgement if I ever came back to the area.

 

Next up is Brick.  I check this one out on the last night in town before I head over to the play I have tickets for.  The interior is funky like Grinders but it isn't as hot or as loud.  

They are playing music and it is an eclectic mix.  I heard Etta James followed by The Shins. 

The artichoke spinach dip was good but the regular chips were a little on the stale side.  I dealt with this by eating only red ones.  Plus, I ordered the portabella sandwich too so I didn't need to eat much dip, I really just wanted to try it.  My sandwich was fine, but not great.  You may be thinking, "Holy cow!  What will it take to impress this girl?"

The Dream Twinkie:  a beer-battered, deep-fried twinkie, cut in half and drizzled with chocolate sauce, squirted with whipped cream and topped with a cherry.  I wouldn't have even ordered this but it isn't time to go to the theatre yet.  I have been leery of trying a fried Twinkie though I have heard of people eating them, mostly at the state fair.  I assumed the cake part would be soggy with oil from frying.  It wasn't.  I only ate half though because I am afraid of being in a food coma at the play.

 

The verdict:  I would go here again just for the Dream Twinkie and I would eat the whole thing this time.

 

I am going to see BINGO, the Winning Musical at the American Heartland Theatre.  I don't realize that this theatre is in a mall.  When I arrive and try to go to some of the shops, they are closed.  I found this really weird since the Crown Center is attached to a hotel and it is only 7 pm on a weeknight.  I did find one store open, the toy store.  On the back wall, I find these costumes and consider buying one for my 3 year old granddaughter.

She could be a police officer.

Note:  She calls police the "po-po". 

She could be a pirate.

 

She could be a train engineer.

 

She could be a hair stylist.  WAIT!  Why are there only girls on this one but there were a girl and boy on all of the others?  I refuse to buy one of these because obviously Melissa & Doug of Melissa & Doug's Role Play Sets are discriminating against boy hair stylists. I myself have a boy hair stylist that I really like.

 

So I bought this instead.  I make this commitment to you right now...you will be the first to know how my hot dog mummy and shrunken head turn out.

 

Time for the show!  An escalator takes me up to the theatre where I take my seat.  I have polite conversation with the women on either side of me and enjoy the company, however short, of both.  Both have been here before and seen productions containing the main character in this one.  They tell me she is fantastic.

 

The idea here is that those of us in the audience are not actually the audience.  We are people who have come to play Bingo.



 

So in my program I find 3 Bingo cards.

One advantage to traveling alone is the ability to find the odd single seat in a good location.  I am on the 3rd row in the center. 

 

There are three friends who play Bingo together every week.  It is the birthday of the inventor of the game so it is a big night at the parlor.  A storm comes in and people are advised to stay home.  Nothing doing.  But the parlor can't wait on them to arrive so we play the first game without them.

 

I turn the free space and nothing else.  The audience winner is given $5.  We are given instructions on when we will play and when we won't at this point.  We will play a total of 3 times throughout the show.

The second game fares a little better for me, and the winner.  This time it is a $10 prize.

Final game.  I don't win.  Someone else wins $15.

 

This play was hysterical.  I loved it.  I would have to rank this at the top of the community theatre productions I have seen so far.  I won't give away the story but if you have the chance to see it, I highly recommend it.  There is a musical number centering around one of the characters being an understudy in a play in New York.  She is Nurse Ratched in the musical version of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, called Cuckoo of course.  That song is fantastic and the girl playing the part did such an outstanding job, with both her voice and her facial expressions.  I also understand why the ladies next to me like the actress playing the main part.  She was really funny. 

 

I will give one word of caution.  Be careful where you sit.  The characters will interact with someone in the first row.  The man at this production was such a good sport.  In the escalator on the way out, someone asked him if he knew what would happen.  He said they told him she would be doing things but they didn't tell him what. That was probably a good thing.