Ghost Hunting at the Old Montana State Prison: Deer Lodge, MT

A ghost made me throw up.  It could have been the tostadas I ate right before we left but I really think it was the ghost sitting on my dashboard.

David somehow found out about a ghost tour being hosted by the Old Montana State Prison museum.  The prison, which is on the National Register of Historic Places, opened when Montana was still just a territory back in 1871.  It officially closed in 1979 and all inmates were moved to a new facility.  Our tour guide, Mel, tells us that over 200 people died in the prison over the years.  Some murdered, some suicide, some natural causes.  The tour will take us through the prison grounds and out into several different buildings.  After the official tour ends, we will be allowed to go back out anywhere we want (that isn't expressly blocked off or locked) on our own.  Did I mention the tour doesn't even start until 10 pm?  We have to check out with the front desk and leave the premises no later than 2 am.

Deer Lodge is almost 2 hours from our house.  We set out around 7:30 because that's how David and I roll.  If you aren't early, you are late.  I am driving and David is looking up apps to download that have ghost hunting capabilities.  The museum has encouraged people to bring any equipment they want.  After downloading the GhostObserver app, David discovers there is a ghost right in front of him on the dashboard of my car.  I guess I could have been on the hood but I can't see it so I can't be sure.  Right after this happens, I get the very strong feeling that I am going to throw up.  This is not because I am afraid of ghosts, I'm not.  I am pretty sure my grandmother Meriam, who I have written about before, has been hanging out with me since her death on Halloween in 2000.

The feeling goes down a bit but never leaves me the rest of the night.  In fact, about 60 miles into the drive, I have to pull over.  Later, at the exit for Deer Lodge, I go to the first gas station I can find, primarily because we are going to be almost a hour early, but also to see how clean the bathroom is.  I can personally attest to the reasonable cleanliness of the Conoco station there.  I had a pretty intimate look.

 

As a rule, I hate most pictures of me and this one is no exception.  In fairness, it is almost 10 pm, it is cold out, my bed is a distant 100 miles or so away and my tostadas decided to make an encore performance tonight.  It could be worse.

There is a gift shop where the 22 of us here to take this tour mill around waiting to get started.  When the time comes, the guide has us gather around and the stories begin immediately.  She is telling us about a riot that happened back in 1959 and how the National Guard had to be called in.  The assistant warden has his throat cut.  One inmate shoots another (who was also his lover) and then himself.  Somehow a national guardsman ends up with a fragment of the first inmates skull and part of his jaw with three teeth still attached.

 

He has since gifted them to the prison.  They tell us that in the meantime, these have been used in cadaver dog training.

While she is telling us this really detailed, horrific story, a very large spider descends from the ceiling right in the middle of the group.

 

Yeah, not that one but he might as well have been that large.  One woman freaks out and backs away from the group.  Her friends are helpfully telling her there will be more spiders in the prison.  They seem to enjoy her distress.  In the meantime, the real spider is knocked to the floor and becomes the most recent murder victim at this prison.

This tour was worth the drive and the fee.  Even if we hadn't been allowed to go back out alone to our possible death or severe psychological trauma (which we of course had to sign a waver for), it still would have been interesting.  They spent almost 3 hours taking us around and that time flew by.  Even with me not feeling good.

 

Deer Lodge isn't a big city so there isn't a lot of ambient light here.  We are issued flashlights.  David and I are sharing and it is nearly inadequate at times. A few people brought headlamps or higher quality flashlights from home and that helps.  When we went back out on our own we got a second one from the museum and we are barely able to see a few feet in front of us.

 

We spend time both outside and in the prison buildings.  As you walk by these barred cell windows, it does give one the sense of being watched.  I shine my flashlight up in the rooms as we go by and I don't see anything I shouldn't.

 

Both inside and out we stop periodically to hear a story.  Always about a murder or a death or some gruesome act a prisoner committed.  Twice we stop to use the equipment.  There is a device she has that is supposed to allow spirits to communicate through that device (called an EMF reader).  She played a recording back in the gift shop that was taken the week before.  A woman put the recorder by "the hole" (isolation cell, where of course, an inmate died) and something was recorded that I didn't catch all of.  Something about a "redhead".  Our group hears nothing either time.

 

David and I take these opportunities to consult our apps (incidentally, there are others who brought apps or other personal ghost hunting equipment including a woman who took a large number of Polaroid pictures).  The GhostObserver app located a 192 year old ghost that looks something like an alien.  We also see "specters" and "errant souls" but I don't really understand the difference. Frankly, when you are standing in a dark prison at 1 am, does it matter?

 

Some of the rooms still have equipment and furniture in them.  This is the dentist office.  This one doesn't scare me any more than a present day dentist office.  They are all equally terrifying. 

 

Every once in a while, there is a mannequin.  I won't lie, these startle me every time.  The people in the group get strung out and separated sometimes and they never scare me but these always do.

We went around poking around in dark places, talking about scary events, stopping to listen and record what ultimately was nothing, but that doesn't mean nothing happened.

We were inside the original women's prison.  Something like a dozen cells.  Outside, the guide tells us that this is the building were the most physical things have happened.  People have been scratched, touched (inappropriately at times), pushed.  Last weekend a man was pushed so hard his hat flew off.  So all 22 of us and the 3 employees are wandering around two small adjacent rooms, look at the displays, looking in the cells.  There is a cell that has an 8x10 photo of the woman that stayed in there after she murdered her daughter.  They thought she was the one causing the problem and the photo was suggested as a remedy but so far, they say they haven't found it helpful.  The girl that was afraid of the spider (she isn't a girl exactly, she is probably 30ish) is there with 2 other ladies.  One of them says something and then crouches down by the wall like she got dizzy.  Then someone notices her face is isn't right.

Outside, her face is inspected with a lot of flashlight power and there are several red welts on her right cheek.  It looks like she was slapped or scratched.  She says it doesn't hurt only that they feel hot.  Several people feel her face and claim it does feel hot and that the welts are definitely raised.

Here's the thing.  I don't think she faked it.  We were all in the room so it would have been hard for her to hit or scratch herself hard enough to make those marks without someone noticing.  She claims she "isn't a believer" but she seems genuinely shaken up.  The rest of the tour she is more subdued and she kind of hangs back from her friends and the rest of the group preferring to stay next to one of the museum employees.  That employee helpfully offers her an obsidian stone from her pocket that she claims will help ward off evil spirits.

I am not saying a spirit scratched this lady.  I am saying that whatever happened she didn't appear to cause it on purpose and it couldn't easily be explained.  One of the employees theorized that the spirits are upset right now after a group came in recently and burned sage and did some "smudging".  I did think it might be possible that this girl touched the wall where the sage was rubbed and transferred it to her face and turned out to be sensitive but she claimed it didn't itch or hurt and she wasn't rubbing it or acting like it really bothered her like an allergic reaction would.  Later, when we were getting ready to leave, she was in the gift shop and the welts were completely gone.  I had something on the skin under my nose making me tingle and burn a little and even though I did scratch and rub it, when I went in the bathroom later and rinsed it off, it wasn't red at all.  So again, I don't think she faked it.

After the official tour, David and I went back to the building where that happened.  We were playing around with the app and this time, a word came up on the EMF reader:  writer.  Even if the app is throwing up random words, the irony of that specific word wasn't lost on me.  And something DID ultimately happen to us that is really odd but we didn't discover it until today.

At the prison, we came across 3 dead birds.

 

You know I took pictures of all three.  This is bird #2.  Bird number three was completely skeletonized and I found it creepily fascinating.  If I could have brought it home I would have.  I recently ordered a microscope to take photos with and it should be here this week.  I could have added it to the partial chupacabra jaw/teeth segment I have in my car from a walk with Karma over the summer as a specimen.  Unfortunately, the photo of bird 3 I took with my iPhone, because of the angle and darkness, makes it hard to tell what it is.  I didn't ask David if I could bring it home.  I wanted him to let me ride with him on the way back.  The second and third birds were discovered when we were off on our own.

David and I are in the midst of a photography class that we have an assignment due for on Wednesday.  I was setting up to take a picture of him in the backyard today when I saw something over by our well pump.

 

It was a dead (and also headless) bird.

Because this coincidence (it is a coincidence, right?) freaks me out a little, I decided to look up the symbolism of seeing a dead bird.  Happily, it doesn't have to be bad.  The second most common thing I could find (as there were many) was that seeing a dead bird symbolizes a new beginning, akin to getting the Death card in Tarot. 

The most common thing I found was that I should call my county health department because we might have a rampant case of West Nile or Bird Flu.  Or because everything living dies, including birds, and this is Montana, the bird died of natural causes and a fox or a coyote or a mountain lion or a bear or some other carnivore made off with the head.  I am going to explain coincidence this using my original explanation in regards to the woman that had the welps.  

I didn't fake it and sometimes things happen that just can't be explained.

Murder Mystery: Glasgow, Scotland

Don't get too excited by that title.  No one I know bites it during this episode, not the big one anyway.  There will be other types of biting though.

We finally arrive in Glasgow a day late but early enough in the day that there is no way we are just going to sit around the hotel all day.  One of our party of four was left behind in Amsterdam to take the next flight so the three of us that have arrived check in at the hotel, dump our luggage and hit the streets.

 

The chilly, wet streets typical of Scotland.  That is the front of our hotel.  It is hard to see them because of what they are wearing but my companions are there checking out the fireman statue out front. Our room faces on to this street, it would be just to the left of this picture on that 3rd floor.  There is a bus stop next to where I am standing and one on that cross street as well.  The hotel is above the Central train station.  As with a lot of buildings in Scotland, our room has a heater but no air conditioning.  All of this and a 7 hour time difference will create an environment that is not conducive to sleep.

The other guys on this trip have been to Scotland before and they have told us we need to take a bus tour up to The Highlands.  Chris, the one that made it the rest of the way with us this morning, walks us over to the place where we can get brochures and, if we want, book the tour.  We get a lot of brochures but I really want to look them over before deciding.  As I look around at the rest of the things the offer here, I find a book I decide to buy for 6 pounds (around $10).

 

The book takes you on a murder-mystery-scavenger-hunt-walking-tour to Glasgow Cathedral, someplace I already know I want to go.  We have no other plans and the guys are on board to humor me so we head out to solve the mystery of which one of those people is our murderer and what weapon they used.

The original book did not survive the journey back to the US.  As noted, it is raining out.  Each time I get the book out to look at the next set of instructions/clues, it gets wet.  By the end of the tour it is coming apart.  The book says the tour should take us about 2 hours.  There is a little note about who has been killed but I don't remember much about that.  Most of the book contains directions to take you from one place to another.  Once you get to a destination, you look for some type of clue.  It isn't as easy as I thought it was going to be.  The cartoon look of the characters on the back is deceiving.

 

Also, there were no disclaimers about hazards in the book.  There were a few.

 

At work we used to have something called a "cookie foul" or a "doughnut foul" which involved someone eating only half of a cookie or doughnut and leaving the rest behind.  I hope dog  fouling isn't similar.

 

We run into our first snag at a cemetery.  A really old cemetery.  See how weathered and moldy that sign is?  They are all like that.  Some are so worn you cannot read them at all. We are trying to locate a headstone that has two brothers on it.  We need a date from the younger one to mark off one of the weapons.

 

The boys study a possible match.  The creepy factor goes up in a cemetery when it is rainy and dreary outside.  We are also the only ones walking around in here.  At least the only ones that are visible.  We make multiple laps, in groups, individually (even more creepy) but we don't ever find the clue.  I vote to move on, the boys agree but only after suggesting we circle back later.

 

The book takes us to a lot of places we might never have seen.  The clues are a variety of things, in this case, we are looking for some text on the other side of that statue.  To make it more challenging, it is written in Latin.

 

Sometimes the directions were difficult to follow.  We need a date off of that building at the end of that bridge but we should have found 2 clues before getting to the bridge.  It turned out we entered this area in the wrong place and the two missing clues are on the other side on a path to the right.

 

Our second cemetery, the Necropolis at the Cathedral.  I make plans to come back later in the week.  I want to go all the way up to the top and see what/who is up there and to check out the view of the city.

 

Mr. Livingstone I presume?  We hit our second snag between this statue of  David Livingstone and the Cathedral in the background.  There is a sign missing off the front of another statue in the courtyard and it appears that is where our clue would be.

While we are outside the Cathedral we find out that the guy we left in Amsterdam and the person who left Montana a whole day after we did have arrived at the hotel (which serves to highlight how bad our travel experience was).  They are given directions on how to find us.  In the meantime, we pause the hunt to check out the Cathedral, no clues lie inside.

 

The Cathedral is free and open to the public daily.  You can leave a donation, which we happily did.  There is a small gift shop in a corner and we buy a small stained glass ornament after being inspired by the amazing windows of this Gothic architecture style building. The building was built 12th century and it is, according to Wikipedia, no longer technically a Cathedral because it isn't the seat of a bishop and hasn't been since 1690.

 

I don't really care about all of that.  The building is beautiful and inspiring and what I really want to know is, is that for sale?  I have a thing for angel statuary, especially really big ones and, though it is hard to tell from the photo, she is life size.  I wonder what the shipping would cost?

 

I know this kind of looks like the other picture but this is a completely separate room.  There are a lot of nooks and crannies to check out here.  Lots of interesting stone work and stained glass and wood work.  There are tapestries and tombs in the floors below.

Back outside the rain has let up enough to take down the hoods.  The rest of our group shows up and we go from a party of 3 to a party of 5.  We are about halfway through the book and it becomes apparent to me pretty quickly that the hunt for our killer is going to take a backseat to hunting for pubs.  As we continue on to the next clue, the talk amongst the boys is primarily on this topic.  We have been walking for a long time and we could use some fuel for the rest of the walk.

 

And that's how it comes to pass that David eats haggis.  After trying mountain oysters a few years ago, I have sworn off food made from freaky animal parts and actually rarely eat any kind of meat other than fish or eggs anymore.  No haggis for me.  David doesn't love it but while eating at Taco Bell in the Minneapolis airport on the way home, they inadvertently finds a miniscule sliver of lettuce on his "soft tacos with no lettuce".  When I told him to get a grip he said he would rather eat haggis again than lettuce.  I think that says a lot about the general differences in food preferences where he and I are concerned.

All of the boys try the haggis and have some beers.  This is the first of 3 pubs we will visit before making it back to the hotel.  When we were in Amsterdam, we went down to the restaurant at the hotel and the Jackson Browne song from the movie Fast Times at Ridgemont High was playing.  He was the first in a string of 80s pop singers we heard that night.  This trend followed us to Glasgow.  Every place we went they were playing 70s and 80s "American" pop-music.  Madonna, Fleetwood Mac, Seals & Croft.  I didn't expect to hear non-stop bagpipes and Celtic Women CDs but I didn't expect this either.  While the boys finish their sheep stomach "meatballs" I check out the ladies room.

 

I have seen a lot of funny signs in bathrooms, mostly about what to do with your tampons and proper hand washing techniques involving songs from Sesame Street.   This is my first encounter with a warning about drugs and "offensive" weapons.

 

Does this count as an offensive weapon?  Unfortunately I don't get to find out as the TSA frowns on my carrying this with me when I travel.  I can't even wear my hair in a ponytail if I don't want to have a quasi-sexual encounter with a female TSA agent these days.

Between pubs we continue to look for clues but not with as much interest.  We never make it back to the cemetery where we had our first missed clue.

 

We fail to solve the mystery. We have 3 suspects and 2 weapons left.  We leave Scotland a week later and are no closer to the answer.  Sherlock Holmes would be disgusted with us.

 

Toward the end of our walk, we end up by the Clyde river (or is it the river Clyde?).  There is the rest of my entourage, walking ahead of me.  I get behind as usual stopping to take pictures of things that most other people would never take pictures of.  Like trash.  Or homeless people.  Or strange signs about drugs and weapons in the ladies room.

It turns out to be a good thing that I am walking a little behind the crowd.  When I hear the phrase "I think I just burped up some sheep intestines" I know that a safe distance behind is right where I belong.  I am starting to think that haggis could be considered an offensive weapon by some.  It is a good thing that Alka-Seltzer is legal and that I have some back at the hotel.  I think one or more of those boys is going to need it.

The National Museum of Crime & Punishment: Washington, DC

David has always been slightly disconcerted by my interest in crime.  Like a lot of people, I like shows that deal with crime like Law & Order (Jerry Orbach, Benjamin Bratt and Angie Harmon episodes are my favorite) and Criminal Minds (Penelope and Dr. Reid).  But I really prefer true crime shows like American Justice, Deadly Women, Forensic Files or Snapped.  I have tried to explain that I like the part where they show how they solved the crime but he isn't buying it.  He thinks I am trying to get away with it someday when I decide to off him.  I will say I have learned a thing or two from these shows that might help in that event:

1. Leave your cell phone at home.  So many people get busted when they call someone or they say they were home but their phone says otherwise.
2. Poison is hard to detect and hard to prove if you do it right, also it is the preferred method for women killers.
3. Get your story straight and stick to it at all costs.  Changing your story never works in your favor.
4. Ask for an attorney.  Do not talk to the police.  I saw a show once where a young man was convicted of murdering a woman based on the fact that his bedroom window overlooked the dump site (at a great distance) and he had some drawings that "resembled" the crime scene.  He spent a LONG time in prison before they caught the real killer.  I always thought if you didn't have anything to hide, you didn't need an attorney, that show changed my mind forever.

I first became interested in this topic when I was a senior in high school and my government teacher, Mrs. Campbell, assigned a book report on a true crime novel.  I picked The Stranger Beside Me by Anne Rule.  Anne Rule has written a lot of crime books but this one is unique in that she personally knew the criminal, serial killer Ted Bundy.  They had worked on a suicide hotline together, as ironic as that is.

 

The first thing we see in the museum?  Ted Bundy's Volkswagen.  Whoever thought of using the handcuffs on the stanchions is brilliant.

This museum has an audio tour option.  It looks a little like a remote control but it has a speaker at the top you put to your ear like a phone.  When you come to a handcuff with a number in it, you punch in the number and it plays.  I paid the extra couple of bucks to do this mainly because the narrator is Bill Kurtis (narrator of American Justice and other crime shows).  I would listen to Bill Kurtis talk about earwax.  I love his voice.

I thought this museum would be mainly serial killers and big names in crime, which it did have, but there is a lot more than that.  It starts in the middle ages and goes from there.  There is a lot of information on various punishments and torture devices making me really glad I didn't live in the middle ages.

 

Even being a baker was dangerous.  There were other displays on things like the Iron Maiden, being drawn & quartered and placed on The Rack.  All very unpleasant.

From there you move into the age of Pirates and then the Old West.  On to the Mob and Bonnie & Clyde.

 

I don't think this was the real Bonnie & Clyde car, I think it was from the movie but I am not sure.  Like at the other places we visited in DC, people were sometimes a problem.

 

Hey, I was reading that.

 

And that.

 

Ugh, more teenagers.  I won't get to try my hand at safe cracking as Waldo and his friends are going to be there a while and there is a long line.

As expected there are sections for famous criminals, even a board of celebrity mug shots.  My fellow Montanan, Ted Kaczynski graces one wall.  Susan Smith another.  There is a display on the assassinated Presidents.  You can look at, but not sit in, a real electric chair, a guillotine, a gas chamber, a gurney setup for lethal injection.  

 

And you learn that my old home state of Texas is far and away the worst place to be on Death Row.  They have executed a lot more prisoners than any other state.

But like the show Law & Order, this museum is only partly about the crime.  About half of the museum is dedicated to law enforcement.  There are displays on famous lawmen like Eliot Ness and J Edgar Hoover and the creation of the FBI.  

 

That's me on the bottom monitor, learning about facial recognition.

 

You can learn about fingerprinting and get an electronic picture of your prints.  I didn't do this because I have done this for real.  I was fingerprinted when I went to work at a bank years ago and there was that time I was arrested...

 

You can do a lie detector test on yourself.  Those bars show I am lying.  This is really sad as I am the only person around so I am lying to myself.

 

I am going to memorize these and start using them when we play cards with our friend Steven, a former policeman.  I think I may need 10-30 fairly often.

 

 The answer is no.  I can do the push-ups and sit-ups but thankfully there is no one around to see that I can't do the one pull-up on the bar they have there.  They also have a shoot/don't shoot simulator and a car chase simulator but I can't do either one as no one is around to supervise. 

 

There is a computer where you can look up officers killed in the line of duty.  It wasn't easy to work with even though there were search options.  I hung with it and located one of David's great grandfathers, Dallas County (TX) Constable W. Riley Burnett.

 

They have a crime lab, that guy getting ready for his autopsy.  They also have a full room set up as a crime scene and a video you can watch to see how your eyewitness skills are.  I got 4 out of 6 answers correct.  I know this is not a realistic simulation since I have been an eyewitness and was terrible.  It isn't the same when guns are being fired in your direction as when you are standing in the relative safety of a museum watching a video that you can stand and look at as long as you need.

 

They also have a forensic lab where they offer classes in things like autopsy and blood spatter.  I think Kawiana (who is my only companion on this trip and who I lost way back in the Middle Ages) is as disappointed as I am that there are no classes available during our entire stay in DC.  They also have a walking tour that covers the Presidential assassinations but it was only on the weekend.

 

The museum has a temporary exhibit on animal poaching and what the ramifications to the animals and the environment are.  They had items made from animals like ivory statues, snakeskin boots and a horrific looking alligator purse complete with the whole head.

 

The final section was a room devoted to counterfeiting, the "victimless" crime.  If you are buying knockoff handbags and clothes or pirating DVDs, shame on you.

I liked this museum a lot better than The Spy Museum from the day before.   I really wish the forensic lab had been an option, if I am ever back in DC I would definitely check into that.  As with all museums, this one had a gift shop and this time I didn't buy anything for David.  

 

But I almost bought this for me.  I might have told David it was "for him" as a joke.  

I don't think he would have laughed.

Spy Museum: Washington DC

I learned a few things by visiting the Spy Museum in DC last week.  Primarily I learned I am not suited to be a spy.  And either the people I went with aren't either or they ARE spies and are really good at it.

The museum has 3 attractions and me and my two friends and colleagues, Marci and Kawiana, did all three.  First up, the museum.  There are a lot of different areas, many that are interactive displays.

 

You are taken in an elevator to a room where you can select a new identity.  I think there were only 8-9 different ones and I selected Greta only because she was the closest in age to me.  You are supposed to memorize the details while you wait for the next door to open.  They tell you that you will be quizzed on this information later.

 

Not much later.  And I expected this to be a little more interactive.  An interrogation maybe.  Sweat me under the lights.  Instead, it is a computer terminal where you answer multiple choice questions.  I hope if I am ever detained for any reason, I am given the option of multiple choice.  Makes things a LOT easier.  So far, my cover is intact.

 

Next I receive my "Mission Details".  These are absolutely meaningless for the rest of the day, other than at the computer terminal at the end, where I am once again given a multiple choice quiz.  There are a pair of eyes at the top of the screen and as you answer incorrectly, they narrow at you.

 

I don't do as well.  I can't leave but I am not detained?  Seems like pretty shoddy counterintelligence work on the part of the English to me.

To be fair, there was a lot more to see after learning my mission details and the final quiz than there was between getting my identity and the first quiz.   There are exhibits on gadgets, surveillance, ninjas, code breaking, the works.  There is a hang bar where you try to hang longer than 007 did and the bar rotates as you hang.  The line is filled with people under 14.  There is also a large exhibit on the villains from all of the James Bond movies.

 

This section on disguises was interesting.  I may have to get a wig and try out some new identities on David.

At the end of the museum part, all three of us had the same thought.  Too crowded.  All of DC was crowded, everywhere we went, even during the day in the middle of the week.  LOTS of teenagers.  Probably my least favorite segment of the general population after mean people.  There are tons of school groups everywhere in town.  This museum is not in short supply.  It is frequently difficult to get up to an exhibit to read the information and/or look at the items.

 

I was sitting at that computer terminal trying to identify my "suspect" at the airport.  I was given his photo (still on the screen) and was watching "real time" footage.  I am supposed to click on him when I see him.  This little girl walks up and without even knowing what she is looking at she clicks my screen and ends my session.  She accidentally picked the right guy.

As with all museums of this type, there is a large gift shop filled with shirts, gadgets, magnets, personalized key chains, the usual.  This one also has a large bookstore.

 

Not even close to all of the books, there were more around the corner.  Spying is big business in literature apparently.

I don't always buy souvenirs for David.  If I see something that speaks to me, I get it but I don't force it.  He has everything so what can I get him at this kind of place that he will need or want?

 

Tempting...I am pretty sure he doesn't have one of these.  I ended up getting him a t-shirt.  Seeing him wear the same one from the Alligator Farm I went to in Alabama 2 years ago is starting to get old.

Next up was Operation Spy.  This is a one-hour "interactive" game that we are grouped with about 12 other people for.  Our group contains about half teenagers, half adults.

 

As far as I can tell, her whole job is walking people upstairs to hand them off.  No photos were allowed during this part.

A young man comes and is our guide or handler or whatever you want to call him.  He is "in character" and it is his job to help us find a "trigger" that has been stolen, allegedly by the Energy Secretary in Kandahar.  I thought this would be like the Escape Game in Nashville but it wasn't.  There isn't much to do.  We watch this woman, code name Topaz, in a hotel but it is prerecorded and nothing exciting.  We are supposed to break into 4 groups and watch but only one person can do the controls so the other people just stand around.  Our guide tries to get us to tell the other groups what is going on when she is on the sector we are responsible for.  

Next, we go into the Secretary's apartment.  Half of us are on the "trigger" team looking in a safe for the trigger and half are on the "documents" team.  Again, not a lot to do.  One of our team has a fake document scanner.  The other team gets the safe open but we need a key we don't have.  At this point the Secretary is coming home so we have to go.  We load in the back of a fake truck and are bounced around and finally let out near a tunnel.  This is where the problems begin.

If you read the post about the Escape Game you may remember that I mentioned one of the people that I invited was worried it would be dark.  That was Marci.  It is about to get dark.  We end up on a fake elevator and it goes completely dark so I reach out to grab her hand and she is squeezing so hard her fingernails are digging into my palm.  Later she almost climbs over Kawiana's back to get into a more lit area.  At one point while we are standing in the dark, I stood behind her with my hands on her back so she would know I was right there and no one else could be behind her and I can hear her hyperventilating.

We finally make it to a room and we are supposed to administer a lie detector test to Topaz who is in another room.  Our guide asks us to come up with some questions back in the truck to prepare for this and one of the young teenage girls blurts out "are you in a relationship with the Secretary?".  He tries to get her to be more specific and I think we are treading dangerously close to someone adding "sexual" to that statement.  During questioning it is clear some people don't know the meaning of a yes or no question.  They end up asking her if the Secretary wears boxers or briefs.  The guide mentions at this point that none of my group of 3 has contributed to the questions and he says I look like a bodyguard and mimics my stance with my arms folded across my chest.

We get a 4 out of 5.  We have no idea what that is based on and one of the teenage girls even says, "this is the same every time I bet".  The guide says no.  The score at the end is different.  And I finally realized what this reminded me of.  Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego.  My kids used to watch that when they were young.  

Last up is Spy in the City.  Another interactive game but this time we are outside and only me and my 2 girls are participating.  We are trying to stop the Russians from doing something that escapes my memory.  I have to wonder, at the Spy Museum in Moscow, are they trying to stop evil Americans?

 

Marci and I reflected in our tablet.  You carry this around and it gets messages.  You go from location to location gathering clues.  Once again, not that hard and not that technical.  You can mess up and it will prompt you.  We couldn't find this one place and we clicked the map and it told us exactly what it looks like.

This is the part where it became increasingly obvious the three of us would be terrible spies.  Marci already had her issues in the dark.  Kawiana got cold and we had to stop so she could put on her jacket.  I was worried about getting a sunburn and had to stop to reapply my sunscreen.

 

And we are starving.  It is around 4 in the afternoon and we haven't had anything to eat since breakfast.  Here I am taking a picture of Marci and Kawiana in a Subway they ducked into to get us chips.  If you could blow up the photo you would see a security guard on the far left of the photo is giving me the stink eye.

I guess that is kind of the point of this museum.  You do walk out and look at people differently. People on the phone.  People taking pictures.  People "reading" a newspaper.  They told us during a film that there are more active spies in Washington DC than in any other city in the world.  I feel a little justified in hearing that because the night before, Marci thought I was being stupid when I said I would come get her when the security guards she was talking to put her in jail.  We were walking around The White House and she went up to these two guys and says "what's in this building" about the building right next door to the President's house.  Yeah, no problem there.  And I didn't mean DC jail.  I mean Department of Homeland Security jail.  In fairness, she thought it was the FDIC.  It wasn't.  He said "it's just offices".  You don't have to be spy to know that is code for Move On Ladies.

I think of all of the things we did in DC, this was probably my least favorite outing (with Spy in the City being the best of these 3 but still ultimately not at the top of the list).  Until it was over and we accidentally ended up in a covert mission.  Earlier in the week a lady recommended the restaurant Cafe Milano in Georgetown.  We get a cab to take us there after the Spy Museum.  We are really hungry now, I think it is pushing 6 pm.  

The problem is that we have been out most of the afternoon, walking around DC in 90 degree heat with 90% humidity.  We are hot and sweaty.  We are going up the sidewalk at the restaurant and I am already concerned.  White linen tablecloths.  Lots of silverware.  Crystal glasses on the table.  We walk up to the hostess stand and I say "do you have a dress code" and she says yes that it is business casual.  I ask if they can seat us on the front patio and she says, "that might be best for us".  

Our Frenchy waiter is none to happy to see us.  He brings us water since we don't look at the wine list (and receive an eye roll) and one crusty roll each (not a basket, individually plated) which I immediately start eating.  I don't notice the problem right next to me because I have already decided on what I am going to order and I am busy trying to figure out if they will bring more rolls.

Kawiana doesn't see anything on the menu she wants to order.  So someone (Marci?) makes the suggestion that we leave.  I have eaten the bread and drank the water and someone (the Maitre D?) has scowled at us after barely cracking the door to peek at us.   Agreed.  Let's go.  But I can't go without leaving a tip, something for the bread and water (it's like paying for prison food).  So we all agree to pay a little something.  The other girls get their money out quickly but I am fumbling with my purse and Marci starts to get excited.  "Hurry up before he comes back!".  I'M TRYING.  I wasn't expecting to ditch like this.  A good spy would always be ready.

I throw my money on the table and we nonchalantly (and totally spy-like) walk off the patio.  Up to the corner and just around so they can't see us.  In hindsight, they were probably glad to see us go and I doubt they would have chased us up the street had they caught us leaving.  Now we are about to start the whole "what do you want to eat" thing over.  Marci and I tell Kawiana she has to choose since she's the one we left for.  There is a place across the street and we decide to head there but on the way end up passing Martin's Tavern.  We go in and I am so glad it worked out that way.  We had good food and the waiter didn't treat us like smelly trash that wandered into his day.  The Police and Journey sing to us while we look at the information about the various presidents who have eaten here and which booth was their favorite.

 

Our booth wasn't listed but I bet a spy or two has sat in these seats before because as Marci so aptly pointed out earlier at Subway...

Spies Gotta Eat.